Those moments when I never knew better

As I sat in the same cafe waiting for my order, I had a sudden rush of deja vu. Thoughts of how it all started came rushing through my veins. It was on 23 February 2007, I sat in the very same cafe and had my dinner while waiting for him to arrive. I didn't sit at the same table this time. Did not order the same food. But I remember waiting for him to arrive at KL before I made my way to meet him at the bus station. And I remembered my drink. It was a chai latte. When it was time to meet, I downed my last sip before paying the bill and took the train down one station.

He arrived late that night.

"Sorry, I got off at the wrong station."

I laughed at him for confusing the names and got off at the wrong stop. Then we both waited miserably for the bus to arrive. I never knew then he would look at me as a whole new person. I never knew he thought I looked like a lady that night. It was 4 hours of endless and uninterrupted conversation that kept us awake throughout the nearly 400km ride. Seemed like too much is never enough. We kept on talking till near the break of dawn after arriving at our destination. We just couldn't stop. I never knew they could tell that he had feelings for me by then. Only thing I remember was how I tried to brush off the lovey feeling at the time when he offered to carry my stuff. Who knew the feeling stuck on until we came back to KL? And it grew so much till I couldn't take it anymore. I had to let him know. But I can't. I'm only a girl. I always wait for the guy.

I remember turning my head over to the side and looked at him sleep during the ride home. I felt like a shy little school girl with a crush on her schoolmate. The crush developed into something else when I got home. He was stuck in my head and wouldn't go away.

What we have now happened quite quickly. But only because we have mutual attraction. The guy finally opened his mouth and told me the right words. I remember the nights when we would talk endlessly on the phone and needed no sleep. Only met each other once a week when weekends would come and go too soon. Him smiling like a 5-year-old kid in a candy shop after he held my hands for the first time, after he gave me a peck on my lips for the first time. Sweet sweet memories that I will cherish for a lifetime. Looking forward to more sweet memories to be ours.

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