Wee wang wang

I love love love this scene from a vintage Stephen Chow movie, A Chinese Odyssey. Here, he is tempting fate by challenging the Goddess of Mercy when he disrespects both the Goddess and his Sifu. The part I love absolutely love is when he starts to describe his Sifu as being an annoying housefly that just won't stop buzzing near his ears. He goes on to correct himself and say that it was an understatement, and his Sifu was in fact an army of houseflies. More hilarity ensued when he goes into detail about how he's like to rip out his Sifu's intestines and wrap 'em around the neck.

I always quote this scene whenever I meet someone who is even half as annoying as the Sifu. The difference now is that I can finally perfect my lines and annoy some people along the process. LOL!

Anyone else who misses the good ol' slapshtick humour from Mr. Chow?

Damn 7

I suppose the title above sounds more vulgar if you say the 7 in Cantonese, but what the heck.

I'm tagged by Chindiana on this "8 things you didn't know about me" list but since he's tried to be different, and I would like to be as well, I'll just go ahead and reveal only 7 unknown facts about myself. To make it sound anywhere near justifiable (and somewhat Da Vinci Code-like), I am listed as the 7th person he's tagging so here goes...

1) Sometimes I do wish it were true when Mr. Bun says that his Myvi can transform into Optimus Prime, especially when we're caught in a bad traffic jam.

2) I can't bake. Because we never owned an oven at home. Sooooo not my fault.

3) I hate pre-wedding photoshoots. I always condemn people who take them and find myself trying to be polite and keeping my mouth shut when it comes to friends who proudly show off their much photoshopped mugs in ridiculously overprized (and oversized) photo albums. It's too harsh to tell people they've been ripped off just so they can look foolish like everyone else. Which normal person prances around at the beach wearing a full suit (guy)/long flowy gown (girl)? And don't get me started on the el cheapo background effects that the bridal houses use! I'd rather use the money to extend my honeymoon trip or something worthy like that.

4) I badly want to put on my monokini and accesorize with chunky necklaces and high heels because I secretly wanna look like Paris Hilton or Beyonce at the beach.

5) My mother tounge is Hakka.

6) I can't live if I only owned G-strings. Granny panties are life savers sometimes.

7) Well, this is technically not unknown but rather, newly known. I have a girl crush on Lady Gaga!!!!!

I blame Deb

I've never watched 'The L Word' and am certainly not a big fan like Deb. She always talks about girls who bring out the lezbo in her (and how she's such a lezbo magnet. LOL). I've never given that topic much thought because I've always been more attracted to the male anatomy rather than a female's, since I already have the working parts on myself. But the recent gagafest about Lady Gaga's supposed penis has peaked my interest in a possible lesbian relationship, well, at least within my own head. But I'd have to ignore the dick part though. 'Cause if she really has one then it wouldn't be homosexual, would it? I'm starting to confuse myself.

For those who don't know what the hell I'm rattling about, please watch this and judge for yourself:

And you can also read this: http://perezhilton.com/2009-09-04-lady-gagas-vagina-is-offended.

Normally I'd cringe and hate on the person after that but I honestly think that no matter if Lady Gaga was a real lady or otherwise, she rocks my world anytime. Now if there's anyone who can bring out the lezbo in me, she's it. Did you know she's admitted that she's bisexual? I'd totally have a chance! Now if only I'd put in more effort to seduce her and be a groupie while in Singapore. I wasn't anywhere near the stage during her concert but I can tell you she's got sexy back. And front.

Hey Lady Gaga, my beautiful vagina would like to make friends with your beautiful vagina. Wanna hook up?

ps: I seriously think I'm suffering from multiple post-concert lust because I seem to fall in love with every artist I watch live. But then again it could be pre-concert lust because how else can I explain why I spend a bomb just to watch them prance happily on stage? Not to mention I get all squished up and sweaty while doing that...

pps: If you can't get the joke then you should be reading your momma's blog about what she cooks for dinner everyday.