My Swelling Pride

I believe the sun should never set upon an argument
I believe we place our happiness in other people's hands
I believe that junk food tastes so good because it's bad for you
I believe your parents did the best job they knew how to do
I believe that beauty magazines promote low self esteem
I believe I'm loved when I'm completely by myself alone

I believe in Karma what you give is what you get returned
I believe you can't appreciate real love until you've been burned
I believe the grass is more greener on the other side
I believe you don't know what you've got until you say goodbye

Humans were never made perfect, and I'm only human. The girl in the mirror is one cunning and selfish bitch and I don't like what I see. I know she's got many tricks to manipulate people to get what she wants but sometimes I let her be. But she's beginning to go too far. Thank goodness for him being a solid rock or else she would've fallen apart. She is me. It's my call now to not take things for granted and save myself from a lifetime of loneliness.

Another friend of mine is going to work away from the country. Not too far, she's just going to Singapore. We had a farewell dinner + yumcha session last Saturday. She was close to tears by the end of the night as it would be last time she'd meet us for quite a while. At least more than half a year. Dinner was at Tony Roma's, The Gardens. The waiting list was horribly long but the great food and service made up for it. We had the best chicken dishes and can I mention even the broccoli was super delicious? In a way it's the last supper for me 'cause I started my detox plan yesterday. More on that later.

Stories of friends going away always make me curse silently, or rather inside my head. I want to work outside of the country too!! But it's always easier said than done. There's the fear of going on the Internet to look for job opportunities and fear of submitting my resume. And what if no one ever picks up my bloody profile? After all, I've never heard of friends securing a job overseas without connections. It's so cool and melancholic to be working alone in a foreign city and only depending on yourself while you're struggling to fit in. Sounds like my biggest fear but I'd love to live that life. If all fails I still have a home to come back running to.

It's Day 2 of Detox and I just had the worst abdomen pain in my life ever. Period.

No pun intended.

The most luxurious food I've had was last night's soup. Did not even touch the chicken to boil the broth. I brought a bagful of apples for these few day's lunches. I'm gonna die when I touchdown in Langkawi by the weekend. There'll be free food at the resort, duty free chocoloates and booze but I can't have any!! I don't really feel hungry and it's been okay. Except for lots of gas releasing last night and the excrutating moment I had just now. It felt like my intestines were grabbed with two hands and yanked down to rip 'em apart. And I thought I needed to puke. I was immediately drenched in sweat because of the pain. Couldn't even stand straight. Thank goodness the pain went away and I'm doing fine now. I would not want it to come back. I nearly gave up. I just need to make it through the week...