Bitter heart

My chest is heavy with pangs of disappointment and regret. Disappointment that arise after realising how I am perceived in the eyes of others. Regret as I allowed myself for everything to run its course. Mask changing is not my forte and will probably never be. But now is a crucial time for me to really learn how to filter my thoughts. How did it turn out that the best quality that I thought of myself has now become the venom that could cause my own death? My mind begs for an answer but my soul is too fragile to handle the truth. I get too emotional when I'm criticized for being me. I'm still shaken from the awakening and trying to pick up my strength to move forward. I've been trying for years to move forward and become a better me but have always faltered. Could this be my last chance if I fail again?

I cannot let myself down anymore.