Zap my brains

Take me out on a wild and raunchy night out, where I can drink shots till I pass out and puke all over the glitzy dance floor. Hang on, make that next drink a Heineken. I can't afford any more Chardonnay with my lousy pay. Hook up with a charming handsome stranger and make out, swapping spit like I'm drinking out of a mineral water bottle. Rent a room at some cheap motel and wake up next morning to find a Mickey Rourke lookalike sleeping on my side. I can't believe I licked and sucked on this ugly being for the whole night. I want to jump down from the motel's window room. Oh wait, I just forgot. I haven't washed my hair. The water heaters busted and it's freezing in here. I'll just head home and leave this place for home. I need to get back to work when tomorrow comes.

Fuck the lady who adorns her chair with 10,000 jackets and blazers. What kind of fashion statement is she trying to make? Why can't the sprinklers on the ceiling detect bad hairdos all over the room and spray them heads wet? They wouldn't look better in any other way. I wished they'd shave their heads bald and put on a wig. Fake people should have fake hair. Makes them look good, but that thing doesn't belong on their head. Buy me a pink bob and I'll wear it to visit you at your death bed.

My g-string is giving me a wedgie. Can I go commando? Not likely. Why are perverts so obsessed with pussies and cocks? I'm sick of looking at ads soliciting online porn on the websites I look at. They're not even online porn websites!! Even sluts are posting their half naked pictures on Facebook. They probably want to get screwed silly through webcams. But I think they're holier than bitches who whine all day on Facebook. Whiners probably don't get screwed often enough.

I wanna make love right now na na...