Temperamental

I'm stuck alone at home all day and feeling hungry all the time. I can't stop feeling stressed even though I'm out of the office for almost a week. Wait a minute, is that a sign of workaholicism? Or I'm just bored out of my skull? Anyway, I also can't get over the fact that I'll be turning older in just a few more days and I'm not ready for that. Not that I'm Madonna and the spotlight's gonna be on how much I've aged but every girl deserves to feel paranoid about how old she gets at each birthday. I'm just channelling my inner drama queen rightfully. Who wouldn't worry about wrinkles and the force of gravity as time goes? I would. Which explains perfectly why I'm freaking out as the clocks ticks away. Not to mention there's nothing really interesting on tv to keep me fully occupied. I did my own laundry today but I pretty much lazed around the whole day, plonked lazily on the red sofa with white tiger print bolsters in my living room. My home sounds so disco. Trust me, its nothing like that. Oh when can I ever stop whining and get my lazy ass to the gym or yoga class? I know! When I learn to drive. Which is not happening too soon. But I'll try my best to make that happen. Then I can get some yoga action going on. And also I won't feel so goddamn lethargic and can keep my own mouth shut.

Fuck my near to non-existent knowledge of webpage HTML. Tried to jazz up my blog template but my skills are fucking limited that I'm gonna throw up all over this site. You're all gonna smell the scrambled eggs that I just had. Weird thing is, it's dinner time here and not breakfast. I know, I have weird cravings sometimes.

There you go. I got that off my chest. Nothing much of what I typed made sense but I don't care. Just needed to blow off some steam.

Closing the door

For those few years that we weren't studying together, I did my best to keep in touch and keep our friendship. But more often than not, I get ignored. Well, it happened with one or two friends anyway. Till this day I wonder if I'm wrong to turn a deaf ear to her stories. Does this make me a cold-hearted beast that my friends would fear if they knew? I have my reservations when she tells me stories of how pitiful her life is. But who could blame me for not believing when she confesses of having leukemia? Confessions which were made casually over a chat on MSN. If it were that serious she could've gave me a ring. I see her still happily posting pictures on Friendster and chatting away on MSN, telling me more stories of her failed relationships, enquiring about my relationship, asking me out for tea and more. What's more baffling is that she supposedly has only a short while more to live, (or so she tells me, but not specifically how much longer) but still has a job. No offence but I wouldn't buy the story that a leukemia patient at a terminal stage would have the ability to drive to work and sit in the office working all day. Now I understand why she told me stories of her being pregnant and went for an abortion when we were teenagers, then telling me later that she wasn't pregnant after all. Maybe she just wanted attention. Just like how she wants it now. She probably needs help. But I don't think I'm able to give it. Forgive me. I need a closure and you're not allowed into my life anymore.

Merdeka spirit thrown down the drain

Where's the level of maturity among our society if we let a fucktard with his foul mouth roam freely on the streets? If he dares to call the main pump of this country's economy as immigrants who don't deserve to belong here, he should be castrated and put silent with his dick stuffed in his piehole. Police reports are already lodged and he still has the balls to step out and speak like a hero owing no apologies, as if there's no one deserving of it.

I am seething mad. I feel like the man in the mask. Think V for Vendetta. If only I had that kind of courage to set things right and show those fucks who's the real boss. We elected you to power, it doesn't mean you can use it against us. Even slicing his tongue in public would not matter now. It's too late to apologize.

I have my able limbs, but I am the minority. I can't go protesting alone on the streets. It's only so typical that people keep silent at things that make them so angry and care only about moving on. Here's me sitting in front of my computer thinking of how it would all be if we skipped this episode. But my insides are boiling. I can only hope for a change so that my future generations don't have to bear with all these crap. I can only hope for a day when my children can call themselves Malaysians without any doubt. No more racial introductions. Just Malaysian. Alas! Here is a perfect example of how we can get rid of such racial hatred but we are not doing anything good to save the day. We are just letting him roam free with his words spilling over to cause more hurt.

Hello. My name is Ashley and I have yellow skin. But I do not know who I really am. Malaysian? You tell me. But only if you can tell yourself that too.

As things heat up

Introduce a little anarchy. Upset the established order, and everything becomes chaos. I'm an agent of chaos. Oh and you know the thing about chaos, it's fair.

The Joker, Batman: The Dark Knight 2008

May the best man wins tomorrow. We rakyat truly deserve a little bit more of fairness around here. I personally wouldn't mind a teeny weeny bit of chaos in return of justice. Not that the candidates necessarily bring justice immediately, but it goes to show that if an upset happens, we're just trying to show how upset we really are. Let's call it our cry for help.

You know you're old when...

A father tells his son to thank you like this:

Dad looking at young son: Se**, say thank you, aunty.

*sound of my heart breaking into a million pieces*

Which effing part of my face looks AUNTY ??? This is what I'd like to call poor parenting. It's like teaching your kid that a horse is in fact a donkey. I can't deal with this. How can anyone call such a young, hot, fabulous, fashionable, trendy, chic, pretty and kind young lady an AUNTY?? I need to dig a hole and just die. Or better yet, throw that dad into the hole and just leave 'em there to die from drowning in a big puddle of rain water. That'll teach ya not to simply call me an aunty.

*storms off to buy a shovel*

Celebutards

Once in a while we all get to dress up and have a little fun. Once in a while we are invited to be at a happening party with gorgeous a theme. That sounds very much like a party I'd like to be at. Earlier this week I was invited to the OK! Celeb Fest 2008 at Zouk. Well of course I wasn't invited alone, but anyhoo I got VIP passes. That doesn't come very often. The theme of the party was 'Magnificent Masquerade', and we were all like a bunch of happy nerds going around shopping for pretty masks before the party. We wouldn't do so under normal circumstances, but the invite said that we'd be penalized by the fashion police if we were caught without any mask on. So of course we had to shop for some may-jah masks. But unfortunately the party didn't turn out to be quite like what we had expected. Sad. But that happens sometimes to parties that could've been such a blast... For everyone in the venue.

Let's start from the beginning. We were waiting for each other to arrive in front of Zouk and spotted some local celebs arriving by foot. And a little while later, some of them started arriving in their rented Benzes. That really brought the lolz. Never thought our homegrown celebs needed that kinda attention and drama. But I guess we all do, don't we? Truthfully I have nothing much to say about the event 'cause we didn't manage to have a lot of fun 'cause most of the group left even before halfway. Even yours truly didn't stay on till the end. I had to leave after they announced the so-called Best Dressed. She was a disaster.

Me with my mask n Mr. Bun with his. He could hardly breath in that thing :p

One of the performers of the night, and the only one I caught just because she was up on stage early. I didn't know her but her name was Honey Madu, if I got the name spelt right. Her voice was okay -- but she was too syok sendiri while on stage. Bask in the spotlight while you can, honey!

Emcees for the night - Serena C and Pietro from Mix FM

Here's JP accepting his award, which I don't remember the category.

Here's me with my lucky draw prize. Haha! I practically ran and jumped on stage when I heard my name called. Actually I wasn't even paying attention to the emcees talking but I just heard my name being called and knew I won something. And that something was a prize from Triumph. Yay for free bras and panties!! More on that later. My name got called in the first round, which means it's usually the smaller prizes and I hate that. That's happened twice! The first time at another party, my name was called first for the night and all I got was a whole range of Gatsby hair wax. Bummer. I ended up giving them all away 'cause I don't use those. But it beats not winning anything at all, I suppose :) I wonder who walked away with the grand prize at Celeb Fest. That lucky bastard/bitch is gonna loooooove soaking in that jacuzzi by the sea. Ask me in person if you wanna know what I mean.

So I claimed my prize at Parkson Pavilion yesterday. In my envelope, there was no voucher or anything. Just a letter from Triumph congratulating me for winning and of course the T&C. I was sure Triumph's trying to get rid of their old stock and decided to restrict me to a few ranges, 'cause they had a bunch of item codes written on the letter but to my lovely surprise, they were actually giving out their very latest range, the Eco Chic. It's so new that it's not even ready for viewing on Triumph Malaysia's website. So let's see... According to the tag on my bra, the Eco Chic range contains no farm drugs, no chemicals like aldehyde (tried to wiki this but couldn't understand a sentence) and no metals. I don't even know what's the support made of 'cause the salesgirl couldn't give me the information -.-" The range is also made from natural colouring substances to prevent allergies and to retain colouring from washing and natural cotton for comfort. I think that's cool. Now we ladies can be environmental friendly right to the inside. Here's a peek at the range...

I apologize for the visual torture. I'm no supermodel. Let's wait for the pro shots from Triumph okay?

Is it me, or is it hot in here?

Oh Miss Selfridge! You made me lust for this totally unnecessary dress which I probably wouldn't need in my wardrobe, but would totally die to own it anyway. But of course since your designs come all the way from the land of Ukay, the conversion rate is bloody hell high and it breaks my heart that I couldn't afford to have this yummy piece of fabric. You know, I was at your boutique yesterday, happily trying on both colours and falling in love with both! But I had to scramble out after I saw the price tag :(

Over reacting, you say? With my current paying salary I wasn't being even halfway to OTT. Just brutally honest. Can I also be totally honest right now to tell you that your dress made me look like a supermodel who just stepped out from a hip hop video on MTV? I must say, black made me look super skinny and red... What can I possibly say about red? Let's just put it this way... If I put on my devil horns I bet tons of guys would jump into the depths of hell to get me. But of course they'd have to get through Mr. Bun while they're at it. Nyek nyek...

So anyways, could you have a sale anytime soon? I think DNP would have it too if you say so. Slash off at least half the price for this dressie will ya? I'll pucker up and kiss your ass cheeks if you do.

Love ya!

Let time be me

Sometimes I wish I had the ability to freeze time so I can be stuck in any safe place I'm in. But other times I'd wish I could zoom past time without anyone noticing that I'm gone, or that I would not notice anyone else around me. To run away from all those thoughts that turn me into this pessismist monster that I am. I have no shiny red eyes or a long, crooked nose. All I have is a deep, dark and hollow shell which no longer bears fruits of hope. I can't understand why I am never satisfied with the way things are (no matter how good they are doing), and keep wondering what if there is something wrong. What if all these seemingly happy times are just a ploy to an impending doom? WHAT IF? The six alphabets and one question mark which intelligently combine to mark my death of normalcy.

TIME WAITS FOR NO ONE, IT GOES ON WITHOUT YOU.

How I wish to possess the ability to move on nonchalantly and breeze through difficult times, without any of these bullshit thoughts polluting my unsound mind. Or rather headstrong, like a horse racing through the meadows with its new found freedom. I need to be alone. But not long enough for everyone to leave me empty.

Goodbye civilization

When one goes away for a work trip, things at the office pile up while the dust settles in awaiting for the employee stationed at the particular cubicle to return. In my case, I've got 3 weeks worth of dust and headache work waiting for me when I come back in August. It's not even gonna be far from KL, where I'm going. It's just 45 minutes away. But yes... It's gonna take us 3 stinkin' weeks. It's gonna stink, literally. Going off to where, you may wonder. Let me just tell you it's where I can travel to France and Japan in 24 hours, while still being stuck in beloved Malaysia. Don't be surprised if you suddenly realize I'm temporarily wiped off from the surface of cyberspace.

ciao

niamahfcukinbbq

No service tax at most restaurants

PETALING JAYA: Restaurants earning less than RM3mil annually and are not operating from hotels no longer need to charge their customers 5% service tax.

This followed a Government’s decision which took effect on July 1. The decision was made in view of the fuel and food price increase.

Customs deputy director-general (operations) Datuk Mohamed Khalid Yusuf said the move would deprive the Government of RM200mil in revenue.

He said during a press conference here yesterday that restaurant operators should drop by at Customs offices to apply for the revocation of their service tax licences.

He said there were 4,457 restaurants which earned less than RM3mil and the new decision would exempt 93% of them from the need to collect service tax. – Bernama

Source: http://thestar.com.my/news/story.asp?file=/2008/7/11/nation/21798459&sec=nation

_________________________________________________________

Picture this:

**After a meal at a restaurant**

Customer walks up to cashier to pay and given a receipt. 5% service tax still charged.

Customer: Eh boss, you earn less that 3 million yearly ah?

Boss: Yea lah. Abuthen?

C: How can you prove? I don't need to pay this extra 5% if you earn more than 3 million ok?

B: Prove what prove?

C: niamaccbbbq$^**&%^#((&**^kfg247&%^$87jfhsfheero;q.

B: knnccbZ7&djfge%&^$%&(jbgwshdg6&%VDH7%^&%

Catfight ensues...

Seriously, how much longer can we put up with this crappy government we have?

Left and right

Heart is what tells you how to feel. Mind is what tells you how to think. Should be something significant if both tries to tell you the same thing. I've had one of the more difficult days from work today and it didn't help that I got a rather unsupporting response toward the end of my depressing day. What happens when I try to convince myself that there's something deeper than what's seem on the surface, but both my heart and mind tells me that the treatment's wrong?

It's getting hot in here

I've finally gotten rid of the one thing that was sucking the life out of me. That thing, let me tell you, can make you feel like Gollum wearing the Ring. You'll feel invincible, as if you possess the power to shop every single thing in the world. That thing, my friends, is a bloody piece of plastic embedded with a memory chip and it's called a credit card. Thank goodness I didn't go "My precioussssssssssssssssss" when I cut it into pieces and dunk my hand into the garbage bin like how Gollum leapt into the burning lava. Actually I already got it cancelled about a month ago, but it was just today that I got down to destroying this parasite. It brought me lots of joy when I could purchase movie tickets, book for airplane tickets and hotel rooms online, but it also made me blind for a while for spending money that I didn't have. My friends, this is my advice for you. Be really sure and disciplined if you're gonna have a credit card, alright? It's not gonna be a pretty sight if you overspend. Don't say I didn't warn you.




What's left of the friggin' piece of plastic that nearly took away my life (and savings!)


On a totally unrelated matter... This was how I spent my weekend.

JUICE 6th Anniversary Party

Bad quality photo, but anyways we were camwhoring at the office before leaving to the party.

On the way to Poppy Garden on a Friday night. Woohoo!!!








Matchy matchy dress colour and handphone fur ball





Trying to fish for endorsement deals

Joey G!!! Andrea called him G Zai -.-" Sounds so wrong...

One Buck Short performing. They rocked the party!!

In case you're wondering... The theme of the party was stars & stripes. I forgot my starry earrings so Sophia had to draw a star on my chest for me to fit into the whole theme. Lol! Though we had a pretty good time at the party, it wasn't at all good when we arrived. I was faced with one of the devils from my past. Haih... I don't even have the mood to talk about it. All I can say is I gotta be more cautious from now on.


Saturday Night Drunkness

Part II celebration of Kuan Yin festival (lol... inside joke) was everything what the real Goddess of Mercy would disapprove. Alcohol, meat and the only thing missing was beef -.-"







It's empty...

Whatchiu looking at?





I'd better stick to sexy poses

Don't wake me up

September is the month when I was born.

September is also the month mentioned prominently in Greenday's hit song, "Wake Me Up When September Ends". And I love this song.

I've planned a trip to Tioman with the boyfriend in the coming September. We'll be flying on 16 September, to be exact. So when I saw this story in the news just now, I couldn't help but think that my trip will be jinxed, in one way or another, politically speaking. I wouldn't want the plane to fall off burning from the sky or anything.

__________________________________________________________

Azmin: Anwar will be PM by Sept 16

KUALA LUMPUR: PKR’s plan to make Datuk Seri Anwar Ibrahim Prime Minister by Sept 16 is still on track, said the party's vice-president Azmin Ali.

The Gombak MP, however, said with the latest allegations hurled against the de facto leader, there was some “slowing down of the process”.

“I spoke last night to the four Barisan Nasional MPs who want to crossover and they said their commitment has not wavered even with the latest fiasco. So far, there is no change. We are still on track,” he told reporters at the Parliament lobby.

Deep discussion: Azmin (right) chatting with Minister in the Prime Minister’s Department Datuk Seri Nazri Abdul Aziz at the Parliament lobby Wednesday.

He said following a rally in Shah Alam on Tuesday night, they would be holding similar gatherings in Penang on Saturday and Kuala Lumpur a day after. He did not dismiss the possibility of street protests.

“Maybe we will use this forum for people to express their anger over what is happening and what is done by the present (Federal Government) leadership,” he said.

Azmin also said they were considering the possibility that the Federal Government might use this as an excuse to crack down on PKR. He denied that Anwar had orchestrated the sodomy accusations himself so as to draw the sympathy of the Malays, as what happened 10 years ago.

He said PKR had enough evidence of the people behind the accusations, adding that PKR president Datin Seri Dr Wan Azizah Wan Ismail had handed over proof to the Prime Minister.

In an interview at the lobby, Balik Pulau MP Yusmadi Yusuf called for the suspension of Attorney-General Tan Sri Abdul Gani Patail and Inspector-General of Police Tan Sri Musa Hassan pending investigations into the role they played in allegedly trying to cover up the assault on Anwar in 1998.

Yusmadi, who is from PKR, said the suspension was important as it would have a bearing on the “conduct of the investigations”.

Source: http://thestar.com.my/news/story.asp?file=/2008/7/3/nation/21727022&sec=nation

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Somehow I wish we can just fast-forward until the day when the whole shitty situation which our country's political situation strips itself off from all the circus acts. How can we allow all these donkeys people in power to fight about their own benefits in public while leaving us to tremble in fear while we think about the future? All these drama and debate over Malay-rights, fuel price increase, corruption, sodo-mee, inflation, mega projects which actually do help ease the people's public transportation woes being shelved and yada yada... I bet our hairlines are receding by the second as we calculate our expenses with the calculator. Not to mention that we Malaysians are really at lost thinking of what the real problem we are left to faced with and how it will ever be resolved.

Come to think about it, I think when time actually does stop until the moment all these circus acts are over, our country will be debt-ridden to the World Bank and we all have to live in poverty. No more gulit-free shopping spree for you and me...

I miss good food

Somebody please kidnap me now and throw me in the middle of Jonker Street!! Please?

I'm not going... But you always can

Click me?

Apparently I just won a pair of tickets to watch The Click Five perform live in Genting on 7 June 2008. Sadly I can't go. It could've been a great night up on the highland with the boyfriend though. I'm not a terribly big fan anyway, so I'm not devastated or anything. Didn't know I'd win anyway. Come to think about it, it could've been my first concert. But I think I'd leave that for an artist or a band that I really love.

So... Any takers?

Sorry baby, I'm just not in the mood

My thoughts are totally all over the place and I'm still not used to my new hairdo yet. Not that it's entirely new or anything, but I've just got it shorter and changed my side parting to the other side. So I'm totally annoyed of having to swipe my hair back every 5 seconds. Hate having hair touching my face but can't afford to not have hair in front of my face. Arghhhh!! The tension is killing me! Why do I have such squarish face??????????????? If I had a pretty little heart-shaped face like Charlize Theron's, I wouldn't have to worry about how exactly I need my hair to look like.

I'm only due to go down to Malacca this weekend but my mind has already made it down to Jonker Street. I'm visualizing all the yummy food that I can stuff myself full of and I can't sit still in the office today. I'm feeling terribly restless. There's a billion things to do but I don't know which one to do first. Everything seems to be so urgent and deadlines are catching up to burn my ass.

I'm absolutely not in the state of mind to think straight this moment. I need to lie down and stuff my face full of chocolates. Now if only I could find a couch for me to laze off and call it a day...

Camwhoring work trip

One could only imagine how hard it was to work on a full resort photography project without hiring any outside help - and we did it all from scratch! I'll not talk much about the work, but all I can say is I'm darn proud of myself - despite some little screw ups which I didn't handle too well. But other than that, I'm glad to give myself a little pat on my back. All work and no play makes Ashley a dull girl, which is precisely why we were fooling around whenever we could. Let the pictures show you how nutty the whole crew were.




Hell yeah I climbed up the wall!! You only need to figure out exactly how I did it





At the desert or the beach??





Just our luck - One of the shots we took.





Group pic at Tioman





You don't need me to tell you we were such camwhores - Fooling around at Subang airport





There's plenty of these lizards in Tioman, brought in many many years ago as food. I just forgot from which country.






Had a short weekend in Langkawi and this was how the outside of my room looked like. Not gonna show any inside shots because I don't bring justice to the rooms with my pictures.






They called this Orange Creme Brulee but it looked and tasted like a pudding instead. And it was my favourite food for the entire stay.





Woohoo!! My legs looked like they were a mile long




Don't ask. I don't know what's happening either





Camwhoring...





Again!





At one of the sets - We called it the RM50 wedding. Go figure!





You may or may not believe me when I say I'm the bride...



I've gone from one challenging portfolio to another daunting one. Work is definitely not getting any easier for me. Good comments and praises make me feel on top of the world, but I get stressed up almost immediately after. Doing good feels great, but that would only heighten other people's expectations about me. I'll try... Definitely much harder this time around :)

Weekend Laughs

I just read these lyrics and couldn't wipe the smirk off my face. They're just so fucking hillarious. Beats Mr. Bun's lyrics-rewriting skills anytime!!


............................................................................................

Jackie Beat, still young and sweet!
Oh yeah, oh yeah, oh yeah…
You know I’m gettin’ older
And I’ve gained some weight, too
In my imagination I am just 22
I’m way too busy to do Jenny, Weight Watchers, too
The fast food is to blame, cholesterol’s through the roof

If there's a camera up in here that’s takin’ photographs of me
Then it’s true, that you
Must sign this confidentiality agreement right here
tellin’ you, what to do'
Cause if you run the pics you got without the use of PhotoShop
I will hunt you down'
Cause baby this is show business, nobody wants the truth
Don’t even try it, this is my diet

Retouch my body
Stretch me some more
Take off sixty pounds
Then take off ten more
Retouch my body
Re-size my head
Clean up my skin
Please tone down the red
Retouch my body
Lipo my thighs
With your computer mouse
I’m as big as a house
Retouch my body
Remove every curve
I’m goin’ to the mall to get a soft serve

Give me a tiny waist because I eat like a slob
Remove a chin or two and how’s about a nose job?
Erase under my eyes where it is wrinkled and dark
Your resume says that you worked on Jurrasic Park

If there's a camera up in here that’s takin’ photographs of me
Then it’s true, that you
Must sign this confidentiality agreement in blood
or else you, will get sued
Cuz if I end up on Perez, Hilton lookin’ like a lez
I will hunt you down'
Cause baby this is show business, nobody wants the truth
Don’t even try it, this is my diet

Retouch my body
Don’t wanna look tragic
So call In-dustrial
Light & Magic
Retouch my body
Make me look lean
Like fat-ass Oprah
on O Magazine
Retouch my body
Even out my tits
And make sure that this haute couture size 2 fits
Retouch my body
Blur it some more
Come on and give me what I’m payin’ you for
Retouch my body

I just want some gummi bears, I refuse to take the stairs
Make me fuckin’ young and sweet
Get rid of my celluleet
I don’t want no photo, boy
I want an oil painting
Retouch my body

Retouch my body
Don’t cause any trouble
I am in denial
Don’t ya’ burst my bubble
Retouch my body
Just look at Madonna
In real life she looks like
An ancient iguana
Retouch my body
And if you can of course
Try to make me look
Like less of a horse
Retouch my body
I’ve no other choice
I only wish you could retouch my voice
Retouch my fuckin' body!

What's wrong with me?

Stop and stare...
I think I'm moving but I've gone nowhere